Helping Kids to Sit Still. Tips from an OT to Support Your High-Energy Child

Maybe you’ve got a wiggly worm for a kid but you’ve kind of embraced that as who they are.

And then… 

👉 Circle time antics at school are a concern at parent-teacher meetings. 

👉 You’re chasing your kids around a busy restaurant 

👉 You feel like you’ve tried everything to get your kid to SIT during mealtimes at home

And so here you are, late-night googling, “How long should a 5-year-old be able to sit still?” and hoping that the internet can tell you the magic secret to getting your kid to Just. Stop. Moving.

At Bearfoot OT, our pediatric OT sessions integrate movements like hiking, jumping, swinging, and climbing. So sitting still isn’t a main feature of our time together in Bay Area parks.  

That doesn’t mean we don’t recognize that there are times when our kiddos need to have the ability to sit still.

In fact, the ability to sit still is the top goal for a lot of the families who join our outdoor OT practice. Even if it’s to keep the peace at dinner time or maintain safety in restaurants, this topic is top of mind for a lot of families.

After all, it’s one thing to be wiggling in your seat and another thing to be running through the classroom. 

Let’s look at what makes sense for sitting and go through some practical ways to help your child sit still at home and school. 

Expectations & Beliefs About Kids Sitting Still 

When we talk to parents about sitting still, we bring up three key ideas before diving into tackling any problems

Key ideas to understand include:

1. Sitting expectations and child development

2. The relationship between sitting still and attention

3. High energy isn’t a BAD thing

Let’s take a look at each one.  

expectations for Your Child's Sitting need to match development.

One of the most common things we see is parents or teachers expecting kids to sit still a lot longer than what is developmentally appropriate. 

Multiple studies show that school-age kids, especially preschoolers, aren’t ready to sit for extended amounts of time¹.

Key Takeaway: When asking your child to sit still, consider their age and development. 

Here are some guidelines:

• 3-year-olds and preschoolers are a fidgety bunch. They generally want to get out of their seat in less than 5 minutes. 

• Young school-age kids (think 5-8 years old) generally can sit still for about 15-20 minutes. Sometimes they can sit longer for an interesting activity. Or shorter if boredom or distraction sets in. 

• Kids aged 8-10 start to really be able to manage their bodies and attention to sit still for up to 40 minutes. 

Keep in mind these are loose guidelines. There can be a lot of variation based on the situation, a child’s natural energy level, and many other factors. Again, this reminds us that kids are wired to move, play, and explore over sitting still to pay attention. 

This begs the reminder...

Sitting still does not always equal paying attention.

This one is a big one! 

Just because a kid is moving around or looking at something else doesn’t mean they aren’t paying attention or learning. Some kids actually need to be moving their bodies to best take in information² ³.

If your child learns best while moving, you might want to explore options that allow them to move without distracting others. Keep reading for ideas on this. 

Don’t view high energy as a negative thing.

Many times the kids who sit quietly and listen are labeled as the “good” kids. While the high-energy kids get a bad rap as the troublemakers.

We need to change this idea. 

In reality, there are a lot of benefits to being a high-energy human. The real source of the challenge is a mismatch between your child's energy, the task they’re asked to do, and the situational expectations that are layered on top. 

That’s why we encourage you to consider how you talk to your child about their energy. For instance, at Bearfoot OT we try to avoid phrases like, “Let’s exercise to get your energy out.”

Instead, we use a phrase like, “Let’s find a way to use your energy!”

Watch the full explanation!

This simple swap removes the idea that energy is a bad thing that needs to be “gotten rid of.” Setting up energy as a superpower and valuable resource that can and needs to be used appropriately. 

Understanding What Goes Into the Ability to Sit Still for Kids

Want your child to spend more time with their tush in their seat? Let’s look at the factors involved. It’s much more than what meets the eye. 

Correct chair size makes sitting easier.

This is not rocket science here but one reason your child might not be sitting still is that their chair isn’t the right size for them. 

From restaurants to kitchen tables, chairs are by design created for adults. Leaving kids with dangling feet or unsupported backs. This is not an easy way to sit. So kids end up moving or getting up a lot more. 

And this applies to classrooms too. In fact, giving kids smaller chairs (appropriate for their body size) improved sitting and attention in school⁴.

Key takeaway: Make sure your child’s chair sets them up for success. Options include getting smaller chairs that allow feet on the floor. Or adding footstools or backrests for additional support.

Core Strength: Tired muscles don’t like to sit.

It takes strength to sit. And some kids can’t sit still because their muscles get tired from the effort. 

Core strength in the abdominal muscles is what makes sitting with an upright posture possible. 

Without a strong core, you’ll see kids slumped in their chairs or leaning against their elbows during floor time.  Key Takeaway: Kids who can’t sit might have weak postural muscles. To address this, work on strengthening the core. 

Also, consider reducing the work of sitting during tasks that need focus. This might mean adding some armrests for leaning when tired or a beanbag for circle time. 

Postural Control: Making it easy to stay upright so you pay attention to other things.

Postural control is a combination of sitting balance (vestibular sense) and knowing where the body is in space (proprioception)⁵.

Kids with poor postural control will find themselves: 

• falling out of chairs.

• moving more to self-correct. 

• feeling less settled in their chairs.

With increased postural control, kids are more comfortable and better able to pay attention⁶.

In essence, sitting requires the brain to constantly monitor position and make little adjustments to keep the body in the right position. Postural control develops through big movements that challenge and calibrate the proprioceptive system. We’re talking about traditional play activities like running, turning upside down, risky play, or swinging. 

Practical Takeaway: If your child can’t sit still, you can improve their postural control with more outdoor play. 

The impact of sensory processing and sitting still. 

What does sensory processing have to do with sitting still? 

A whole lot! 

Sensory processing is how the body and brain can recognize and respond to all information it receives through the senses. Kids with sensory differences tend to either over-register or under-register sensory information. 

Kids who over-register sensory information might have trouble sitting because they are getting distracted and responding to sensory information in the environment. Maybe they're getting out of their seats to hide from bright lights or distracting noises. Or maybe they can’t sit still because their shirt tag is scratchy. 

If this is the case, calming strategies or spaces to sit might help your child sit still longer. 

It’s slightly different for kids who under-register sensory information. They might be moving to get the sensory information they need to stay alert and know what their body is doing. 

These kids might benefit from strategies to increase sensory input like: 

• sitting on a medicine ball

• sensory fidgets

• weighted lap blanket 

Practical Takeaway: Kids with sensory differences might have trouble sitting still. Consider tools that help regulate their sensory system to help them sit longer. 

Here Are 4 Ways to Help Your Antsy Child to Sit Still Longer 

1. Allow movement, fidgeting, and alternative tasks.

Work with your child’s needs instead of trying to get them to sit perfectly still. Remember some kids learn best when moving or in a different position than sitting. 

Here are some ideas to try with your child: 

• A discrete fidget toy in class.

• Small toy in the restaurant. 

• Increase attention by having an interesting conversation or a game of I-Spy.

• Stand to do homework.

• Lay on the floor to do an activity.

2. Explore seating options to support your child's ability to sit. 

Kids sit longer when their bodies are comfortable or their seat supports their sensory preferences. 

Seating adjustments can include: 

• Chairs with arms.

• Inflatable seat cushion that works well with wiggles. 

• Beanbag for sitting on the floor.

• Large exercise ball.

You might need to try different things and have a variety of options on hand to see what works best for your child. 

3. Get lots of movement before sitting. 

Know your child is going to need to sit for a while?

Meet that need for movement before you ask them to sit still. 

Think scooter ride before dinner. A fun walk before going to the restaurant. Or circle time after recess. 

In fact, research has shown that movement breaks throughout the day increase the ability of children to sit still and pay attention² ³.

4. Address the underlying reasons that make sitting still a challenge.

To help your child sit still, you might need to think beyond adjusting their seating. Or weaving in quick movement breaks before sitting down. 

To sit still, your child needs postural stability and core strength that comes from moving the body in all directions. 

The easiest way to do this is by setting more time aside each week to head to a playground or go on an outdoor adventure.

If you have questions about this, reach out to a pediatric occupational therapist who can assess and provide ideas on improving your child’s strength or postural control. 

The Ultimate Paradox About Movement, Sitting Still, and Education 

Here’s the kicker, in school today, kids are being asked to sit longer. And recess keeps getting shorter and shorter. 

The reality is, even though the research shows the importance of movement for sitting still to learn, your child isn’t going to get the movement they need during their time at school.1

So for parents with a kid who can’t sit still, a good place to start is increasing play and movement time. Your child needs this time to build skills like core strength, postural control, and vestibular sense. 

And when you live in San Francisco, there are amazing parks that offer endless outdoor adventures.

So yes — you heard that right, a big part of the solution to sitting still is getting lots of movement! 

If you’re a Bay Area parent of a high-energy kid, follow us on instagram for updates on our group and individual OT services that get kids moving, learning, and playing for more success at home and school.  Love research?

So do we! Here's the research behind today's blog.

References

1. Rosenkranz, R.R., Neuendorf, C.M., Rosenkranz, S.K. and Sauer, K.L. (2020), Just Sit Still and Pay Attention?—A Commentary. J School Health, 90: 345-348. https://doi.org/10.1111/josh.12881 

2. Mazzoli E, Teo WP, Salmon J, Pesce C, He J, Ben-Soussan TD, Barnett LM. Associations of Class-Time Sitting, Stepping and Sit-to-Stand Transitions with Cognitive Functions and Brain Activity in Children. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2019 Apr 26;16(9):1482. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6539435/#B4-ijerph-16-01482 

3. Howie E, Beets M, Pate R. Acute classroom exercise breaks improve on-task behavior in 4th and 5th grade students: a dose–response. Ment Health Phys Act. 2014;7(2):65-71. 

4. Wingrat, Jennifer K. and Exner, Charlotte E. ‘The Impact of School Furniture on Fourth Grade Children’s On-task and Sitting Behavior in the Classroom: A Pilot Study’. 1 Jan. 2005 : 263 – 272. https://content.iospress.com/articles/work/wor00462

5. Hassan, D. M., & Azzam, H. (2012). Sensory integration in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Implications to postural control. Contemporary trends in ADHD research, 3, 1-12.https://library.um.edu.mo/ebooks/b28350480.pdf#page=15 

6. Goulème, N., Debue, M., Spruyt, K., Vanderveken, C., De Siati, R. D., Ortega-Solis, J., & Deggouj, N. (2018). Changes of spatial and temporal characteristics of dynamic postural control in children with typical neurodevelopment with age: results of a multicenter pediatric study. International journal of pediatric otorhinolaryngology, 113, 272-280. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165587618303859